Not Just an Orgy by Sally PainterMy rating: 1 of 5 stars
This story started out with an interesting premise. Journalist Alexia is planning an expose piece on Haden's super secret club, The Sanctuary. A club rumored to be the host of very exclusive orgies. Alexia manages to get Haden to ask her to the club, but what she didn't expect is that she would be so attracted to him. (Yea, cause most single ladies aren't attracted to good looking and wealthy businessmen who fawn all over them. Journalistic integrity only goes so far.) Like I said, it started out interesting....that's just about the only good thing I have to say about it.
Alexia is wired with a mini-camera in her hair barrette (um, yea) so she can film the whole experience. Turns out the club IS the host to a giant orgy of sorts. (Really, it's just a bunch of couples all having sex in the room together. There wasn't any partner switching. Is that still an orgy?? Whatever. I don't care.) So yea....all the hot monkey sex going on in the big room was getting Alexia really turned on, so Haden just whips his dick out and fucks her. No condom. Nothing. Just boom.....dick-in-vadge. As soon as they're done, Alexia feels really guilty that she's going to ruin this man that just banged her and that she kinda likes.....so she runs for the door. But of course, Haden runs after her and ends up banging her again (cause his recovery time is like 45 seconds) and then he explains that he knows all about her filming everything with her super secret spy barrette. Then he procedes to tell her that she's his mate and she's never leaving him. Ever. Then he bites her throat because he's a vampire. The End.
I so wish I was kidding.
But, hey....you read this whole review. You're welcome....I just saved you the trouble of reading the actual POS story. Now I'm going to go jab shards of glass in my eye, because that will be a hell of a lot more entertaining than the hot mess that is Not Just An Orgy.
I just laughed so hard my butt plug fell out! It's been in while waiting for your post about back door sex!
ReplyDeleteOMG! This is hilarious! I've read stuff like this where I feel like I need to scrub my brain with bleach!
Still laughing!!!
Hee hee heee........hopefully this story wasn't too long!
ReplyDeleteNo....thankfully the story was super short, but GOOD LORD it was a horrible piece of shit. Dayum. You can't just go "RAWR, I'M A VAMPIRE" and then END THE BOOK! WTF!
ReplyDeleteI mean.....it's not like it was good before that....it was the moldy cherry on the feces cake by that time.
This reminds me of a story I was reading, which was "relatively" normal, which was moving along nicely, and suddenly the hero has a past-life regression and talks to a unicorn. Hee hee....I was looking around going, WTF?!!!! It was hilarious.
ReplyDelete