Review: Tigerlily

Tigerlily by Charlotte Stein

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was such an odd little sexy book. I don't even really know how to categorize it. I've been trying to think of descriptive words for it. These are the ones that came to mind right away: whimsical and mystical. It was like a smokey dream sequence from a movie. Like, maybe it was real or maybe it was someone having a dream.....but you weren't really quite sure. Sexual whimsy. That's how I'm going to describe it. And it was like no other romance I've ever read. (And that ain’t a bad thing.)

One day, Mae sees this man running through the fields behind her house. He's handsome, yes, but he also seems hurt. Oh, yes and he's deliciously naked. She finally catches up to him and she isn't sure about him. He doesn't know his name, where he's from, and he responds oddly to being called "human". Mae immediately thinks either she's crazy or he is. Eventually, she talks him into coming back to her house with her.....and she notices the cuts on his arms have already healed. Like, 5 minutes ago he had wounds.....now he has none. Odd, indeed. He's not ashamed to be walking around butt-ass nekkid and is also mystified by things such as water faucets and telephones. Ok. Now Mae really thinks she's crazy. Just to prove to herself that she's not imagining him.....she calls a friend and has the friend speak to Mr. Nekkid-No-Name. Sure enough, the friend can hear him.....so at least Mae knows SHE'S not the crazy one. Then Mr. Nekkid-No-Name calls Mae by her name.....and she knows that she hasn't told him this information. This is the point when I would start to really freak out. But there's something about the guy that Mae just can't make herself fear. Finally she tells him that she needs to call him something and he says that he's always liked the name Sam. So from here on out....Mr. Nekkid-No-Name is Sam.

The whole mystical-whimsical ambiance continues throughout the entire book - and it works - because even though Mae knows that Sam is real, he still has this unrealistic quality to him that she just can’t wrap her mind around. It’s like she knows him from somewhere, but can’t remember where. Or maybe he’s some sex god or demon.....she just doesn’t know. But as the hours tick on, she remains drawn to him. He’s almost child-like in his wonder of everything - the water in the faucet, the phone, and Mae. They share some sort of connection - sexual, romantical (if that’s a word)....whatever you want to call it. When Mae feels aroused, so does Sam. When Mae feels pleasure from a touch or a kiss, so does Sam. Good God - to know a man with the power to know what turns you on because he can actually FEEL IT turning you on - seriously, that thought is almost too much to comprehend. And there is some delicious sex in these pages. I won’t go as far to classify it as hot monkey sex - although it is hot....but it seems to go deeper than that. (No pun intended.) It seems not to be just sex for the sake of orgasm, but sex for the sake of orgasm and emotional connection and healing of the spirit. Or something like that. I don’t know how to explain it. All I know is that I read the sex scenes with a little bit of “oh yea, that’s hot” and a whole lot of “awwww......how touching”.

But why is Sam there? What brought him to Mae? Well, Mae is sad, depressed, and lonely. Her parents were killed, though it isn’t explained how, and she’s hasn’t been herself in quite a while. Is Sam there to bring her back? Is he really real or is he just something Mae made up to help her heal? Do I know for sure? Yes and no. I have my ideas on what exactly Sam is. Although it IS explained what/who he is.....I think there is another layer to that, but I’m not going to say because either a) I’m wrong and you’ll think I’m a dumbass or b) I’m right and it will prevent everyone from drawing their own conclusions. So.....my advice is for you to read it, let it swirl around in your head, and then figure it out for yourself. And if you want to email me and discuss it later, well, that’s ok too.

Review: Reawakening

Reawakening by Charlotte Stein

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This was the first book that I was really nervous about reading and reviewing. An ARC was given to me by the author, as well as an opportunity to have her do a guest blog on my website. (No pressure!) After I agreed to it, I was scared. What if I ended up hating the book? I had never read anything by Charlotte Stein (although I do have two of her books in my TBR pile). I had never read any books about zombies. This had all the makings of situation that could go horribly, horribly wrong. Would I lie about the book and just say I liked it, even if I didn't? It was with all of these trepid thoughts that I began to read Reawakening.

Turns out, my fears proved to be completely unfounded because I loved the book! (Whew!)

A zombie apocalypse has taken over and there are very few humans left. June has been fighting them off for the past two years when she is rescued by Jamie and taken to a remote island. The only other inhabitant of this little island is Blake. Two hot guys and one chick. The only humans left (that they know of). I'll admit, this book was much different than some of the books I've read lately. You know, the ones where the characters are having hot monkey sex by page 3. Yea. THOSE books. It took me about 25 pages of constantly thinking "is this when they all have sex?" to realize that this isn't one of THOSE books. Oh yea, there's sex.....hot sex.....but not until much later on. Once I chilled out on the sex front, I was able to delve into the world where flesh-eating zombies roamed free.

The beginning of the book plays out in a way that I can only describe as unsettling. Like, I was constantly on edge, as if someone was hovering behind me with their fingernails poised over a chalkboard.....and I never knew when they were going to screech their nails down on it. It wasn't tense as in "OMG, I'm so scared" kind of way, it was just....unsettling. I was always a little confused, and I would go back a page or two and read a little bit, thinking maybe I had missed something. Then I finally realized - DUH! I'm supposed to be unsettled....zombies have taken over the fucking planet. How ELSE am I supposed to feel? For all those tense moments, you're right there with the heroine, June, wondering if a zombie is lurking around the next corner waiting to eat her face off.

After Jamie gets June to the island, things are a little tense and awkward for all of those involved. June is constantly thinking that Jamie and Blake will turn into zombies at any moment. She barely speaks to them and they basically just walk on eggshells around her.....trying not to spook her anymore than they know she already is. (If anyone qualifies for a major case of PTSD, it's a chick who's been fighting zombies 24/7 for the past 2 years.)

Eventually, June loosens us around them a little and they all sort of become friends. They share meals, play endless games of Scrabble, but the tiptoeing around each other continues. (Sexual tension, much?) And then June has a sex dream about them which awakens all of these sexual feelings that she has shelved for the past 2+ years. The sex dreams continue, although she doesn’t tell the boys about them. She thinks they aren’t attracted to her and then she finds out they think she is a lesbian. But eventually, it happens. She makes out with Jamie, and that’s as far as it gets. For now. And at some point, she makes out with Blake as well. It isn’t until they fly back to the mainland in search of supplies that things go from heavy petting to hot monkey sex. While searching for supplies (like food and fuel), Jane’s dumb ass decides to venture out in search of condoms, gets spotted by a zombie, and has to fight it off. She kills it and that’s when the guys realize that this bitch can take care of herself - though they’re not happy with her running off on her own. This whole escapade prompts June and Jamie to have a little talk, wherein they discuss the fact she has sex on the brain - hence the need for condoms - and the fact that Jamie and Blake also have sex on the brain, but they don’t want to freak her out by saying “Hey, yea, I know it’s the zombie apocalypse and all, but do you wanna have a threeway?” Ok, so no one ever says that, exactly, but that’s the subtext. How June could have ever thought they didn’t want her is beyond me. I mean, if there’s ever a sure way to get laid, it’s to make sure you are the ONLY KNOWN FEMALE LEFT ON THE PLANET.

Eventually, they all get to the hot monkey threeway sex part. And it is H.O.T. And Jamie even pops out the “I love you” during one of the threeways. (Good timing, dude!) And because these three dumbass kids can’t communicate with each other worth a damn, feelings get mixed up, there’s the whole Jamie / Blake “she loves you more - no she loves YOU more” stuff. I swear, even during a fucking zombie apocalypse, guys are still so damn thick-headed stubborn and stupid.

The thing is, June has fallen for both guys - in completely different ways and it takes almost losing one of them to a zombie that made it to the island for them to all realize that their threeway love circle could actually work.

I glazed over a lot - obviously, cause I don’t want to give it all away.....but this book just worked for me on so many levels. Like I said at the beginning, I was completely unsettled by the writing. I didn’t enjoy that at first; I didn’t understand it. I’m not used to reading romance/erotica that sort of gives me the heebie-geebies in a way that has nothing to do with anything sexual. As I continued through the book, I realized that the unsettling was a very deliberate effort to do just that.....unsettle me. It was saying - Don’t get too comfortable.....this ain’t your average erotica tale.

There’s also a great deal of humor in this book. I pulled out a ton of quotes to list in my review and I decided that I really didn’t want to pull them out of context for those that are going to read the book. But I will give you my favorite quote from the book: “Porn always made this look so easy. The guy had a cock the size of a ham hock? No problem! Just shove it right up that chick’s ass—hell, she could probably take it in her nostril if you push hard enough.”

And finally.....the scariest thing in the book? Learning that Miley Cyrus songs survived the zombie apocalypse. For fuck’s sake. ;)

*ARC provided by the author

Guest Blog: Author Charlotte Stein

First off - I need to say that I am seriously geeked out by having my very first guest blogger - author Charlotte Stein! Not only did she pop my guest blogger cherry, but she has a new book out that she will discuss below.

The brilliance of the internet, particularly Twitter, is that you get to interact with people that you would never otherwise know or communicate with. One of the main reasons I wanted to start this book blog was to meet other people with a similar taste in books. Then low and behold, I get to meet and chat with authors of erotic romance novels, the genre that I have come to love so very much. The mind....it boggles.

Now on to Ms. Stein's post. Enjoy!

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When Kristy said I could guest post on her blog about my latest book, I was very nervous and excited. And then even more nervous and excited, because she said she’d never had a guest before.

Never had a guest before! On this fabulous blog with its fabulous name and its load of fabulously funny, honest, brilliant reviews of lots of books I love almost as much as Kristy probably does. I mean, she loved Willing Victim. Of course she’s cool.

And she’s a geek who loves erotic romance, like me! Hooray!

But enough about how much we both love geeky things and erotic romance. Onto my book, which is out now and is all about...well...geeky erotic romance-y things. Like zombies and people having threesomes and the apocalypse and stuff.

Behold, the blurb:

June has spent the last two years of her life trying to avoid death at the hands of murderous psychopaths and ravening zombies. So when Jamie turns up on the scene, careless, still whole and promising her safety on a little paradise island, she isn’t quite sure she can trust him. Especially when he tells her that it’s just him, and his equally big, burly, handsome friend Blake.

But Jamie and Blake are even better than her wildest dreams—sweet and funny and charming. And worst of all: sexy as hell. Though they're trying to be gentlemanly with her, all she can think about is how much she wants to get tangled up in them, and forget the nightmare the world has become. She's waiting for her reawakening—back to life and happiness and love.

And they seem like just the right sort of men to wake her—body and soul.

And an excerpt:

All June could think was—Kelsey is dead, Kelsey is dead, Kelsey is dead—while the image of the ravening hordes feasting on Kelsey’s body played behind her eyes. She tried to shut it off, keep it down, keep running before they got to her, but Kelsey’s blood was still wet and all over her right arm.

And if Jamie hadn’t shot Kelsey—right as she was still screaming, and begging for help—she’d be one of them, now. That’s what happened. Once they bit you or bled on you or hell, spat on you, you had maybe thirty seconds.

Before you turned. She needed to stop, just stop for a second. Lean against something and catch

her breath. But Jamie had somehow led them into this building and he just kept running and running—only up instead of out.

June didn’t even know if Jamie was really his name, or if he was leading them right into a dead end. But he kept going, none-the-less.

She could hear the hordes, busting through the door below. He’d barred it, but they were coming in anyway, to this place that was an almost total deathtrap. The staircase was narrow and blanketed in darkness, one winding section after the next. Even if she dared to pause and look over the railing, she wouldn’t be able to see them until they were almost on her.

“Jamie, wait!” she shouted, but not because things would be easier if he had hold of her hand or was there to comfort her in this dire hour of need. She’d made it this far, on her own.

Or at least, she’d made it this far, with Kelsey.

No, it was just that—if he kept going, eventually they’d be trapped, on the roof. And she couldn’t have that. That was one of her and Kelsey’s rules—don’t run to someplace with only one exit.

Only it was just her rule, now. This guy, this Jamie...he didn’t seem to have any rules. He’d decided to run to the roof of a twenty story building then potentially wait outside until the hordes pushed through a probably very flimsy fire door.

Kelsey had said to her. She had said—wait. He’s as crazy as they are. A safe island? He’s nuts. We can’t go with him. He’s probably an insane apocalypse rapist.

And she’d been right, God help her. Maybe not about the insane apocalypse rapist part, but even so and besides—there was still time for that. He could be anyone, be into anything. He could have planned this all along...Kelsey’s death, the run to the roof...hell, maybe he had a whole party of insane assholes up there, just waiting to do horrible things to her.

Even if that was as nuts as he now seemed. Why would he trap himself on the roof, just to have a little fun with her? Nothing in her head was functioning in quite the way it should. Connections had been lost. Wiring had come loose.

She still called out to him again, when they got to the level before the last one. Her voice came out hoarse and breathless, burning lungs making everything difficult, Kelsey in her mind making everything worse. But somehow the words emerged.

“Jamie, stop. Take the nineteenth floor exit, okay—we can go back down on the other side of the building—answer me, fuck!”

He did, then. She heard him call out over her own shrieking breaths, the pounding of her sneakers on stone, and the sounds of the once-were-people below,

slathering and barking like animals.

There were two cracks, like he’d fired her gun into the stairwell. Though she couldn’t see where he was shooting or at what. Then—

“Just keep following me, June-bug—come on!”

Only it sounded more like come own, because of the Texan twang Kelsey had sworn up and down was fake. And he’d called her June-bug again, because he was crazy, he was crazy, oh dear Lord he was probably leading them to their deaths.

This was all just some final mad hurrah. He was suicidal, and this was how he wanted to go out. Death by stairs or death by zombies—because they were zombies, no matter how much she tried to pretend otherwise—or even worse, death by roof.

Was that what he was going to do? Hurl himself off? Plummet to his untimely end? She didn’t know. All she could really think about was how close the first ravening cannibal was getting, and how unfit she really was. She’d started believing all the cardio was really beginning to pay off, but as it turned out, eighteen flights of stairs and she was out for the count. Her heart clawed at her ribcage. Her thigh muscles screamed and screamed.

While her zombie pals kept coming and coming, as though the stairs were nothing, really. Why, leaping up eighteen flights was like a morning stroll to them! They could have climbed these stairs forever and still had the wherewithal to eat her innards, once they got their claw-like hands on her.

She hit the fire door to the roof just as one of said claw-like hands brushed the back of her shirt.

It made everything inside her leap, including the heart she’d thought had escaped. Whenever they got really close—that was when you realized just how terrible they were. How awful the world had become. How much it wasn’t like a movie at all, but like a constant and unbearable pressure against your sanity, always threatening to make you go over.

She felt like going over, when the door wouldn’t close on them. For a second of pushing and heaving with their hands coming through and all over her, her mind tried to fly away. It told her to start screaming uncontrollably, while clawing at herself—that doing so would really be her best bet. No more running constantly. No more pain over Kelsey—and before Kelsey, Joanne and Pat and the old lady whose name she never learned.

Just peace, finally. One moment of agony, then peace.

Only it wouldn’t be, would it? No, it wouldn’t be. If she stopped pushing at the door and jamming it at them and just God, let the door snap their arms, let it crush

them, let it kill them all forever, if she stopped...they’d turn her into one of them. And no matter how much she tried to let it hurt her that Jamie had pointed the gun and shot Kelsey between the eyes, it didn’t. It couldn’t.

Being one of them was worse. After all, it could have been that they’d caught a disease. It might have been that they were infected with something—like in 28 Days Later, rather than Night of the Living Dead. But part of her wondered whenever she stared into their hollow, ink-black eyes, if they’d simply lost their souls.

He looked like it. The one who’d managed to squeeze his mottled face into the crack she was struggling to close in the door. He had no pupils, no irises, no whites to his eyes. It was all just blackness, empty and weirdly unseeing, as though they operated on no more than a bloodlust now. Like upright land sharks roaming the land, blindly searching out prey.

She wrenched the door from him for just an instant then smashed it back into his face. It was a risky move, but oh so worth it. Worth it for the satisfaction, worth it for Kelsey, worth it for everything these things had taken from everyone. People’s souls hadn’t left. These things had stolen them.

And when it slithered away and the door quite abruptly shut, the idea didn’t go with it. It stayed, and festered—so much so that she wanted to open the door for one mad moment, just to smash it back in their faces again, and again, and again.

She wanted to, but Jamie was calling to her. And other sounds were starting to flood through her now, too, other big, big sounds that she should have noticed ages ago.

At first she thought it was some kind of weapon. That he’d found a chainsaw or a pneumatic drill or a wood chipper. Something he’d known was up here all along for them to use against the enemy.

But then the wind whipped up and she turned to see something far more incredible than a zombie eating wood chipper. It was so incredible that she forgot the zombies battering on the fire door, for a second. They’d bust through it soon enough because although they couldn’t figure out handles, the sheer pressure of them would figure out the release bar.

Though it didn’t seem to matter. For the first time in these two years of hell, it didn’t matter. She found herself laughing out loud, high and probably hysterical.

Jamie had only gone and gotten himself a helicopter. And not only that, but he apparently knew how to fly a helicopter. The rotors were going. They were kicking up the fine gravel that lined the roof of whatever building this was, and he was yelling to her—

“Come on, June-bug, get your ass in here!”

She thought of him talking about the island. About his buddy who was waiting for them. How they’d just wanted to find survivors, and populate their safe haven, and how crazy that had sounded when he first started yakking about it.

Then she ran to him.

And finally, the link:

Reawakening (Forever Dead Series, Book One) by Charlotte Stein

Thanks a million for having me, Kristy! It’s been a blast.

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Ok - It's me, Kristy, again. *blushes* She's thanking me! No, really, Charlotte, the pleasure has been all mine!

Connect with the fabulous Charlotte Stein:  Goodreads, Twitter, and Blogger.

Buy her other books:  Amazon US, Amazon UK or Barnes & Noble