Review: Sporting Wood

Sporting Wood by Cindy Spencer Pape

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I have a confession to make. I am a non-discriminating Free Kindle book WHORE. I will download ANY romance/erotica novel if it is free. That being said, I have no one to blame but myself when said free book ends up being a POS.

Since all of the "Naughty Nooners" sport the same cover, you really can't judge a book by its cover. Which is a pity. Based on the title of this book alone, I thought it may be about a randy baseball player or a randy carpenter. I had no idea that the book would be about a male shifter wolf and a talking lady tree. OK, she's a nymph that LIVES in the tree, like the Keebler elves, but still. When he meets her, she is a fucking tree. (And the best part of it is....he was in wolf form and was about to pee on her. Cause remember, she's a tree....and dogs like to pee on trees.)

This was the point in the book that I said...."Um, I think I'm gonna just stop right here." I really wanted to stop reading, but I've never given up on a book before and therefore I felt compelled by my own sick sense of I must know how it ends. So onward I read.

The wolf and the tree finally get it on.....but they do turn into human form first. There wasn't anything special about their copulation except that I couldn't get it out of my head that this wolf was humping a lady tree. I also won't mention that these two crazy kids stayed connected for a little while after they were done.....because, you know, the guy is a dog and everything and you know that dogs swell a certain way and blah blah blah. In the book, they called it a mating knot. I call it gross and too close to bestiality for my taste.

Then somewhere around the middle of the book, there's this whole "message" about environmentalism and how the sacred grove where the nymphs live can't get desecrated by metal or plastic because if it does they nymphs have to leave their trees, and most usually just up and die. At this point, I wanted to take a chainsaw to all of the lady trees.....while wearing a wolf skin coat. Jesus H. Christ....why did I keep reading?

Review: Not Just An Orgy

Not Just an Orgy by Sally Painter

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

This story started out with an interesting premise. Journalist Alexia is planning an expose piece on Haden's super secret club, The Sanctuary. A club rumored to be the host of very exclusive orgies. Alexia manages to get Haden to ask her to the club, but what she didn't expect is that she would be so attracted to him. (Yea, cause most single ladies aren't attracted to good looking and wealthy businessmen who fawn all over them. Journalistic integrity only goes so far.) Like I said, it started out interesting....that's just about the only good thing I have to say about it.

Alexia is wired with a mini-camera in her hair barrette (um, yea) so she can film the whole experience. Turns out the club IS the host to a giant orgy of sorts. (Really, it's just a bunch of couples all having sex in the room together. There wasn't any partner switching. Is that still an orgy?? Whatever. I don't care.) So yea....all the hot monkey sex going on in the big room was getting Alexia really turned on, so Haden just whips his dick out and fucks her. No condom. Nothing. Just boom.....dick-in-vadge. As soon as they're done, Alexia feels really guilty that she's going to ruin this man that just banged her and that she kinda likes.....so she runs for the door. But of course, Haden runs after her and ends up banging her again (cause his recovery time is like 45 seconds) and then he explains that he knows all about her filming everything with her super secret spy barrette. Then he procedes to tell her that she's his mate and she's never leaving him. Ever. Then he bites her throat because he's a vampire. The End.

I so wish I was kidding.

But, hey....you read this whole review. You're welcome....I just saved you the trouble of reading the actual POS story. Now I'm going to go jab shards of glass in my eye, because that will be a hell of a lot more entertaining than the hot mess that is Not Just An Orgy.

Review: Hot Moon Rising

Hot Moon Rising by Desiree Holt

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Um....yea. I don't really know what to say about this short except that I'm glad it was a free download from Amazon. But that half hour it took me to read it is time I'll never get back.

So, the story is basically - human man loves shapeshifter woman. He drives by her house and watches her (STALKER!) and hopes to catch a glimpse of her as a wolf (BESTIALITY STALKER!). She lets him catch glimpses of her from time to time.....but she usually doesn't let him approach her....until one night. On this night, he approaches her while she's in wolf form, and she nudges his hand and then licks his crotch. AND HE THINKS IT'S HOT. For a second there, I thought this was going to turn into some full fledged man fucking she-wolf action. Thankfully....no.....it didn't actually go there. But still....creepy. I don't mind shapeshifters. And I don't mind humans who don't mind shapeshifters. But when the human wants to fuck the shapeshifter while she's in animal form.....well.....that isn't anything I want to know about. Ewwww.

This book was just bad. It didn't work for me on any level, and the only reason I managed to even finish the thing was because it was so short. My interest disappeared after the wolf licked the guys crotch and he boned up from it. Just....no.

Review: Lover Unleashed (#9)

Lover Unleashed by J.R. Ward

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I've really been trying to think about what I wanted to say in my review. I've read so many about this book, I don't really know what to say for my own.

There seems to be a lot of hatin' going on for this BDB novel. And yea, I can see why. It's put out there as a book exploring the relationship between V's twin sister, Payne and Doc Jane's former (human) boss, Manny. But really - this book is more of a continuation of Doc Jane and V's storyline. Payne and Manny come across as a secondary plot at best.

But here's the thing.....I liked the book. I LOVE V and Jane as a couple. There's a tortured soul in V that wasn't fully explored in his book. In Lover Unleashed, we get to see his emotional side. OK, yea - we ALL know V loves Jane more than anything. But he seemed to always hold something back - and that something finally gets explored here. And I love how that all played out. It broke my heart and made me fall in love with V all over again.

As far as the Payne/Manny storyline.....it was sweet. I think Ward had some missed (ok, MANY missed) opportunities for some hot sex between those two crazy kids. There were some steamy scenes - but having them NOT doing THE deed until the very end of the book? Not cool, Warden, not cool. *shakes finger at JR*

And the continuing build up of tension between Qhuinn and Blay - well - that's just cruel. We all want to see them get it on. I mean, really. We all want some hot boy-vamp on boy-vamp action. Don't keep us waiting much longer, Ward. Seriously. You won't like us when we're angry.

Overall, I enjoyed the book. Was it perfect? No. Nor is it my favorite of the series. What I really wished the author had done was focus more on Payne and Manny in this book and take all the V and Jane stuff and channel it into a novella. But she didn't ask me what I thought.....so there.

And I shall close with this: the whole serial killer plot point? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Review: The Darkest Secret (#7)

The Darkest Secret by Gena Showalter

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Ok, so I went into this book with some reservations. First of all, the protagonist, Amun, doesn't speak. He signs. He can speak....but because he is the keeper of the demon of secrets, he chooses not to. (Because he reveals secrets, often painful/upsetting/otherwise bad info that he doesn't want to know, much less repeat.)

Well, I was surprised at how effortless and completely UNannoying it was to read Amun's dialogue. All of his parts were in italics - which was either the translation of his signing or his thoughts when mentally communicating with Haidee, who turns out to be his woman.

Haidee - she is a human (well, mostly) and a hunter, as well as one of the people that was directly involved in Baden's death. (Baden being the a Lord that was killed ages ago. He was well loved, and the other Lords have never really gotten past his death.) So anyway....Haidee. Strider kidnaps her and brings her back to the Lord's compound and he kinda has the hots for her, but he also kinda wants to kill her. He knows she has to die - because he's still looking to avenge Baden's death.

Amun is locked up in his room, having just returned from Hell.....fresh full of new demons that are slowly killing him from the inside out. Haidee is locked in the room next door to his. One night, she hears Amun calling to her (mentally) and she claws her way through the wall (ok, well, she finds a door that had been plastered over) and goes to him. She thinks he is her boyfriend Micha - and she begins to comfort him. And for some reason - Amun's demons are scared of Haidee and because of this, his health immediately begins to improve.

And true to all LOTU books - we all know there are hardships and battles and super hot sex.....and things will probably all work out OK in the end. Yep. This is why we love Gena Showalter books. Are they predictable? Yes and no. Chances are - there will ALWAYS be a happy ending. That's the predictable part. The rest - well....that's what I love about GS's books. You just never know how everyone is going to get through it all for their HEA.

I'll admit, the book was a little confusing at first - with Haidee spelling her name two (slightly) different ways - her calling Amun by another name and all that jazz. So, for me, the book started a little slow. But it definitely picked up the pace after a few chapters. I ended up really loving Amun and Haidee as a couple - I found their relationship to be very sweet and (of course) passionate.

Now - I'm anxiously waiting for Strider's story (which is next) and I HOPE there is going to be one for William. I just LOVE him - and with every book, I find myself wanting the books to focus on him more and more.

Review: This Side of the Grave (#5)

This Side of the Grave by Jeaniene Frost

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

So.....this book finds Cat & Bones together and, for the most part, at peace. Although that peace will be short-lived. But for the first time in the series, Cat and Bones are not separated, fighting, kidnapped, or otherwise in distress. And it was weird. In the previous books, I longed for the day when Cat & Bones could just be a happy, normal couple. Well, as happy as two vampires who are also vampire killers can be. I always thought....how much more can one couple go through? Can't they just be allowed to exist as a married couple? This Side of the Grave finally allows that, and like I said.....it was weird. Now, don't get me wrong - eventually, shit happens and there are battles - but this time, they're together for them.

In this one, we learn a little bit more about Marie Laveau and her powers and the ghosts play a much larger role as well. Including Cat & Bones adopted ghost, Fabian....who I really sort of love.

I would give this book 4 1/2 stars if Goodreads allowed halves. It was an awesome book, as are all in the Night Huntress series, it was just slightly less awesome than the previous books. That being said - I CAN'T WAIT for the next one.

Review: Destined for an Early Grave (#4)

Destined for an Early Grave by Jeaniene Frost

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Whoa. There is A LOT that goes on in this one book. First, we discover a hidden marriage in Cat's past - one that even she didn't know about. She was 16 and it was wiped from her memory. The first husband happens to be someone named Gregor - also known as the Dreamsnatcher. He begins appearing to Cat in her dreams - and this is how she begins to piece her past (or at least the missing month of her past) back together.

(And I'm stealing a little bit from my friend Jen's review, but I felt this same way.) This book marked the first time that I thought that Cat and Bones were done as a couple. OK. I mean....I know there are more than four books in this series....and obviously you can't have a Cat & Bones book without Cat & Bones....but that doesn't necessarily mean that they have to be together as a couple, right? Hmmm. It was causing me a lot of undue stress thinking that my new favorite PNR pair just may not make it to their happily ever after.

Like all the other books - there is much action - an interesting appearance from a historical figure (voodoo queen Marie Laveau!), and lots and lots of surprises. But most of all - Cat finally FINALLY tears down that last remaining wall that she had up between her and Bones. I admit - I might have had tears in my eyes over that. Just a little bit....

Lastly, I will say this...Jeaniene Frost sure has a knack for being consistently awesome with this series. I do think this is the first PNR series I have read that I have given 5 stars to all of the books. Maybe this has to do with all of the books following the same couple, versus it being a new couple for each new book. I don't know. And frankly I don't care. As long as JF is cranking out Night Huntress books - I'm gonna keep reading them!

Review: At Grave's End (#3)

At Grave's End by Jeaniene Frost

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Ok....really.....this series just gets better and better.

As I have in the other reviews I've written for the books in this series....I have to say how much I love Cat & Bones as a couple. They just don't get old for me. Although in this book, I was sure my heart was going to end up broken. At Grave's End was probably the most emotional of the series (so far). While these books are mostly action - there is enough of an amazing and passionate love story to keep you begging for more.

In this book - Cat & Bones (now husband and wife) and working together as vampire hunters. Early on, Cat's father comes back into the picture - determined to kill Cat once and for all. And he almost succeeds. From there - the story is full of action and betrayal - and there are vampires, ghouls, zombies, and Egyptian Queen Cleopatra's undead vampire daughter, Patra. Yea. The book goes there. And it's awesome.

Review: One Foot in the Grave (#2)

One Foot in the Grave by Jeaniene Frost

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I can't really express how much I love Cat and Bones as a couple. I was a little scared going into this book....seeing as how in the last book, Cat had ended things with Bones in order to protect him. (I mean, I knew they would get back together....cause there were more books in the series. Duh. But I just didn't know how....) Anyway.

The book takes place four years later. Cat is working for a secret government agency, and she's starting to make quite the name for herself as the "the Red Reaper". And she hasn't seen Bones since she left him a "Dear John" letter and bolted out of his life. Then Cat gets an assignment to kill a vampire that she soon finds out is Ian, the vamp who created Bones. Because of this, she can't make the kill out of loyalty to Bones.....and a whole series of events happens because of this.

Needless to say, Bones reappears in Cat's life and things heat up from there. And let me just specifically point to chapter 32. WOW. That's all I'll say.

Overall, I loved this book. There's a great blend of action, sex, and witty banter to keep you entertained from beginning to end. Oh....and the end. *sigh*

Review: Halfway to the Grave (#1)

Halfway to the Grave by Jeaniene Frost

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I'm a huge fan of paranormal romance books, although I admit that I am somewhat new to the genre. I've read several of the most popular series of books in this genre (Immortals After Dark and Black Dagger Brotherhood, etc.) so I really didn't expect to fall in love with another series like I did those. WRONG!

While these books are more about action than sex - it totally works for these characters and this series. Cat and Bones have such a delicious love/hate relationship at first. (Well, all the hate being on Cat's side.) It was fun to watch it bloom into something more.

If anyone reading this remembers the TV show Moonlighting, you'll appreciate this book. Cat and Bones have this great back and forth banter that is always laced with a little bit of sex. While they might be arguing - you know they're both thinking about what it's like to make out with the other one. That element alone makes this worth reading.

All that aside - the concept is great. Cat - the half human/half vampire who hunts and kills vamps. Bones - the 240 year old vampire who hunts the bad vamps for money.

I can't wait to sink my teeth into the rest of the series. (And yes - that is such a bad pun to use when describing a vampire book. But, I.DO.NOT.CARE.) :)

Review: Dreams of a Dark Warrior (#11)

Dreams of a Dark Warrior by Kresley Cole

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The story of Reign the Radiant and Aidan the Fierce.

Good Lord - can Kresley Cole write a book that I won't love? I'm guessing not.

Reign is an immortal Valkyrie with glowing skin who meets Aidan the mortal Berserker while she is a child. He sees something special in her and vows to make her his mate when she gets of age. The years go by - and Reign and Aidan finally meet up and begin a physical relationship. Come to find out - they are cursed and shortly after they make love for the first time, Aidan is killed. Before he dies, he vows to find her again.

Aidan is reincarnated several times - always finding Reign and always dying shortly after they consummate their relationship.

Then Reign is abducted by Declan. Declan is an Irishman who belongs to the Order....a group hellbent on wiping out all members of the Lore. They imprison them, experiment on them, and kill them. And Declan is their leader.

While Declan feels a certain attraction to Reign, he resents the draw to her because of his deep-seated hatred for all of the Lore. Reign recognizes Declan as a reincarnation of Aidan and is drawn to him, but she, too, resents her feelings for him because of what he is doing to the Lore.

And the fireworks begin there.

The sex is super crazy hot - the story is funny and sad and sweet - and always, always entertaining.

And I LOVE that we got to see a little bit more of Nix in this book. I'm so anxious for HER story! And I love the addition of her pet bat, Bertil. (Small as his part was....it was still quite adorable.)

Review: Lover Mine (#8)

Lover Mine by J.R. Ward

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The story of Xhex and John Matthew.

Whoa. OK, so there is ALOT that goes on in this book. Dang. Some of it, I think, is setup for future books and not just the next one that focuses on Payne.

I really love the character of Xhex - and the only part that I thought was a little lacking was in her backstory. I'm hoping that will come out in a later book or books.

But what I love, love, loved about this one - the possibilities of a relationship between Qhuinn and Blay. I've been hoping for that since those characters were introduced....but I just didn't see it happening. But now....the beginnings are there.

Review: Lover Avenged (#7)

Lover Avenged (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #7) by J.R. Ward

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This one was the story of Rehvenge and Ehlena.

I really didn't expect to care about these two as a couple. I mean, Rehv is a pimp, drug dealer, all around mafia boss who is also half vampire and half sympath.

Ehlena is a sweet (vampire) nurse who is caring for her ailing father while trying to pay the bills.

I just didn't expect there to be chemistry. But....oh was I wrong.

Like the last few books in this series - there are lots of other things going on as well. But in this one, all that extra stuff seemed to flow so much better. It enhanced the main storyline rather that hinder it.

I loved that we got a good continuation of Wrath and Beth's story, as well as the beginnings of the story with Xhex and John.

All in all - I LOVED this book.

Review: Father Mine: Zsadist and Bella's Story (#6.5)

Father Mine: Zsadist and Bella's Story by J.R. Ward

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This one was a continuation of Bella and Z's story.

Ahhhhhhhh. LOVE IT doesn't even begin to explain how I felt about this story. I absolutely love Bella and Z as a couple. LOVE THEM. So to have their story expanded to include their daughter, Nalla....well....it was just the frosting on an already delicious cake.

Review: Lover Enshrined (#6)

Lover Enshrined by J.R. Ward

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The story of Phury and Cormia.

I'm not really sure how I feel about this book. I had heard that it was the weakest of the series - and on some accounts, it is. I didn't begin to care about Phury and Cormia as a couple until the last part of the book. And by last part, I mean, literally, the last 5 or so chapters. There was SOOO much that went on in this book that didn't involve them, I felt like they were almost a side story.

But, that being said, I didn't *hate* the book. I simply would have liked to see more of Phury and Cormia coming together as a couple and less of everything else.

If I could, I would probably give this 3 and a 1/2 stars. I'm only giving it 4 because it does set up some interesting scenarios for the future of the Brotherhood and the vampire race as a whole. But the Phury/Cormia story is just a 3 star deal. Sadly.

Review: Lover Unbound (#5)

Lover Unbound by J.R. Ward

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This one was the story of Vishious and Jane.

Vishious gets shot and is taken to a human hospital, where Dr. Jane saves his life. When the brothers find him at the human hospital, they bust him out and kidnap Jane in the process.

While I actually enjoyed the growing relationship between V and Jane - I feel like the ending was a little too forced and wrapped up a little too neatly and conveniently. It just seemed....I don't know....odd.

I'm interested to see how the relationship is handled in future books.

Like I said - I quite enjoyed the love story part - but the ending was meh.

Review: Lover Revealed (#4)

Lover Revealed by J.R. Ward

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This was the story of Butch and Marissa.

Butch, the human cop who now lives with the Brotherhood - and Marissa, known as one of the most beautiful vampires - who has also been ostracized by her aristocratic family for things they deem socially unacceptable.

Maybe it was just me - but there seemed to be WAY more sex in this book than the last ones. I don't know. I may be wrong about that, but whatever. It was HOT.

I also enjoyed the running feminist theme that was going on with Marissa, who was learning how to stand up for herself in a society (the vampire aristocracy) that wants to keep her as property. It was nice to see her gradually change and get stronger throughout the book.

Another (surprising) thing I enjoyed.....the "bromance" between Butch and his best friend/roommate/vampire, Vishous (or V). While the book did sort of hint that V's feelings could easily have moved to more than that of a bromance.....things never went in that direction.

Overall - I have enjoyed this series so much. I've fallen in love with all the characters, especially the men. They are all given a strong backstory - so you really know exactly what kind of life they have lead outside of the time frame of the book.

As long as the BDB books are being written.....I'll keep reading.

Review: Lover Awakened (#3)

Lover Awakened by J.R. Ward

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The story of Z and Bella.

I do love a tragic hero - and you just about can't get any more tragic than Z. OMG. My heart broke for him over and over again in this book. And God love Bella - she would not give up on him.

Of all the paranormal romance books that I've read so far....if there were ever a character that deserved a little "happily ever after", it's Z. I'm not saying he does (or does not) get it, but I'm saying he damn sure deserves it.

I absolutely loved this book. Beautiful and tragic - all at the same time.

Review: Lover Eternal (#2)

Lover Eternal by J.R. Ward

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The story of Rhage and Mary.

OMG - I loved this book. Oh my. I....just.....I have no words to express how much I loved this story.

It made me cry my eyes out, it made me laugh....loved it, loved it, loved it.

And - I think I fell in love with Rhage. *Sigh*

Review: Dark Lover (#1)

Dark Lover by J.R. Ward

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I loved everything about this book. The relationship between Wrath and Beth......the relationship between the members of the Brotherhood.....everything. And especially sweet little Fritz. Awww.

The love story aspect was great - not amazing - but really, really great. The sex was hot, but more than that....it was very sweet, which was a surprising aspect in a book about vampires.

The names of the members of the Brotherhood do seem sort of, well, lame. I mean, Wrath, Phury, Tohrment? Really? But as the book goes on, you just sort of get used to it.

I can't wait to read the rest of this series. The bar was set high with this one......I hope the others live up to this one.