BLOG: I'm back, well....sort of

If there's anyone still out there and reading my long unupdated blog....I'd be shocked.  It's been MONTHS!  And for that, I'm sorry.  What turned out to be a goal to read as many books as I could, also turned into my downfall as a book blogger.  I was reading too fast, not pausing between books to write a review and eventually I fell waaaaayyyyyy behind.

Then I decided to make some changes to my life.  For almost 10 years, I worked in marketing.  I enjoyed it, for the most part, but the burnout was slowly festering and becoming something that I couldn't ignore any more.  So with a lot of soul searching over a period of a year or maybe even two years, I finally made a decision to go back to school.  Nursing school, to be exact.  I started taking some pre-nursing courses in January.  As that was kicking into gear, my job was slowly being taken away from me.  I knew my company was itching to get rid of me.  I had been there long enough to see the signs.  An egomaniac boss coupled with a department head that had never been too fond of me anyway....well, needless to say, the writing was on the wall for me.  I was just counting down the day until I was handed my walking papers.  That happened in February.  Fired.  I should probably be upset about it, but honestly, I'm not.  I was ready to go....it was time.....but I just didn't have the balls to quit.  I thought I could ride out the misery until I started back to school full time.  But....life had other plans for me.  Don't worry, though....I'm not homeless or anything.  Actually, my life is much better at the moment because I'm actually HAPPY.  I'm doing well in my pre-nursing class....and I'll be taking another one in the summer and (fingers crossed), I should be a full time nursing student starting in the fall.

So, what does this have to do with my blog?  Besides the fact that I was so behind on my reviews, I had so much on my mind for the last six months or so that every time I sat down to start a review......nothing happened.  My desktop was filled with a review after review that was just a few words long.  I couldn't even form a complete sentence, much less write an entire review.  And with that, I sort of just lost my zest of even bothering with them.

BUT, I'm not quitting this page yet.  I've really enjoyed writing about books and learning about new authors, etc.  I don't want to end all that.  Believe it or not, I've kept a list of every book I've read and have not reviewed.  I'm anal-retentive enough that I will have to write reviews for them....eventually.  But that's OK.  Most of the books I read rocked my socks off, so a reread wouldn't be so bad.

Once I start school full time, I seriously doubt I'll have much time to read as many books as I did last year.  I think I read about 140 books in 2011.  The books I'll be reading later on in 2012 will be of the nursing variety - and nobody wants to read about that.  But I'm sure I'll manage to sneak in a book here and there.  And when I do, I'll try my best to get back to being a good little reviewer.

So, the moral of this story is basically that I'll be back.  You know, eventually.

BLOG: I'm So Behind

I said behind.  Tee hee.  No, this isn't another blog about buttsecks.  I'm not quite ready to do a follow-up to that post just yet.  I'm actually behind.....on writing my book reviews.  I'm way behind, y'all.  Like 28 reviews behind.  But, I just.can't.stop.reading.  For so long, I was so good about not starting one book until I had written and posted the review for the book I had just finished.  Somewhere in July.....I got way off track.

Here's the books I've read and still need to write the reviews for.  They are listed in no particular order.

1. One Grave At A Time
2. Come Back To Me
3. Don't Call Her Angel
4. The Artist
5. Kiss Me Kate
6. Covert Lessons
7. Trespass
8. One-Two Punch
9. Rock Hard
10. Desire in the Dark
11. Loving the Beast
12. Power Play
13. Everything Nice
14. Punished
15. Rough Cut
16. Broken
17. Backstage Pass
18. Take Me
19. Three Reasons Why
20. Inflamed
21. Mad About Meg
22. Happy Endings
23. Mr. Smith's Whip
24. Kidnap and Kink
25. Ready and Willing
26. Seeing Blind
27. Snowed In with the Tycoon
28. The Gladiator's Master
29. The Darkest Surrender
30. Captured
31. Sweet Inspiration
32. Sweet Magik
33. Head Games
34. White Knight
35. Belong To Me
36. Beauty & The Feast
37. Incorporeal

So yea.  That's my need to be reviewed list.  It's sooooo long. (Tee Hee.  That's what she said.  I can't help it, I'm not mature.)

With the exception of the last 3 or 4 books I read, I'll need to do a lot of rereads.  A lot of them.  Which is fine, because I loved almost all of these books.  In fact, some of them....I have already reread a time or two.

I'll get caught up.  You know, eventually.

Review: Sporting Wood

Sporting Wood by Cindy Spencer Pape

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I have a confession to make. I am a non-discriminating Free Kindle book WHORE. I will download ANY romance/erotica novel if it is free. That being said, I have no one to blame but myself when said free book ends up being a POS.

Since all of the "Naughty Nooners" sport the same cover, you really can't judge a book by its cover. Which is a pity. Based on the title of this book alone, I thought it may be about a randy baseball player or a randy carpenter. I had no idea that the book would be about a male shifter wolf and a talking lady tree. OK, she's a nymph that LIVES in the tree, like the Keebler elves, but still. When he meets her, she is a fucking tree. (And the best part of it is....he was in wolf form and was about to pee on her. Cause remember, she's a tree....and dogs like to pee on trees.)

This was the point in the book that I said...."Um, I think I'm gonna just stop right here." I really wanted to stop reading, but I've never given up on a book before and therefore I felt compelled by my own sick sense of I must know how it ends. So onward I read.

The wolf and the tree finally get it on.....but they do turn into human form first. There wasn't anything special about their copulation except that I couldn't get it out of my head that this wolf was humping a lady tree. I also won't mention that these two crazy kids stayed connected for a little while after they were done.....because, you know, the guy is a dog and everything and you know that dogs swell a certain way and blah blah blah. In the book, they called it a mating knot. I call it gross and too close to bestiality for my taste.

Then somewhere around the middle of the book, there's this whole "message" about environmentalism and how the sacred grove where the nymphs live can't get desecrated by metal or plastic because if it does they nymphs have to leave their trees, and most usually just up and die. At this point, I wanted to take a chainsaw to all of the lady trees.....while wearing a wolf skin coat. Jesus H. Christ....why did I keep reading?

Review: Not Just An Orgy

Not Just an Orgy by Sally Painter

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

This story started out with an interesting premise. Journalist Alexia is planning an expose piece on Haden's super secret club, The Sanctuary. A club rumored to be the host of very exclusive orgies. Alexia manages to get Haden to ask her to the club, but what she didn't expect is that she would be so attracted to him. (Yea, cause most single ladies aren't attracted to good looking and wealthy businessmen who fawn all over them. Journalistic integrity only goes so far.) Like I said, it started out interesting....that's just about the only good thing I have to say about it.

Alexia is wired with a mini-camera in her hair barrette (um, yea) so she can film the whole experience. Turns out the club IS the host to a giant orgy of sorts. (Really, it's just a bunch of couples all having sex in the room together. There wasn't any partner switching. Is that still an orgy?? Whatever. I don't care.) So yea....all the hot monkey sex going on in the big room was getting Alexia really turned on, so Haden just whips his dick out and fucks her. No condom. Nothing. Just boom.....dick-in-vadge. As soon as they're done, Alexia feels really guilty that she's going to ruin this man that just banged her and that she kinda likes.....so she runs for the door. But of course, Haden runs after her and ends up banging her again (cause his recovery time is like 45 seconds) and then he explains that he knows all about her filming everything with her super secret spy barrette. Then he procedes to tell her that she's his mate and she's never leaving him. Ever. Then he bites her throat because he's a vampire. The End.

I so wish I was kidding.

But, hey....you read this whole review. You're welcome....I just saved you the trouble of reading the actual POS story. Now I'm going to go jab shards of glass in my eye, because that will be a hell of a lot more entertaining than the hot mess that is Not Just An Orgy.

Blog: What, what....in the butt?

Is anal the new oral in hetero romance novels?

No really. Is it? Sure seems that way to me, which is why I felt the need to write this long blog about the phenomenon of rampant buttsecks going on in all of the hetero romance and erotica books that I've been reading lately. It seems like EVERYBODY is doin' it in the butt these days. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing it. Not at all. But I do feel the need to add my own personal disclaimer that I have never personally attempted it. I've never said no to it....but I've also never had a guy say "hey....can I stick it in your back passage?" (Back passage, you ask? Yes, I've seen it referred to as that in a book. Along with many other phrases that make me go "tee hee" and take me totally out of the would-be sexy moment. But then again, my maturity level is around that of a 12 year old boy, so maybe those phrases are only funny to me.) *more about euphemisms at the end of this post*

Anyway....

Now, maybe I just haven't been around the block as much as many of the heroines I've been reading about. In my head, doing it in the butt requires a lot of trust shared with your partner. Trust you don't gain on the first date. But it seems like they'll just go there right off the bat. And not only is it the guys going there in the girl's butt.....the girls go there too. With their tongues. On the first date. I don't know about you, but when I first meet a guy, I don't always know where he stands on personal hygiene. I mean, he may smell good and all, but Axe body spray can cover up a lot. What it can't cover up is how clean his asshole is. How do I know how if he's squeaky clean back there? Maybe he had Mexican for lunch and didn't shower after his post-Mexican meal visit to the loo. I'm certainly not gonna let my tongue figure that out for me. Hell....I don't even want my finger to figure that out. But, some of our heroines seem more than happy to visit the hero's dark alley on the first date, with no hesitation. And after I read those parts, I just want to go brush my teeth and gargle with bleach.

Yea, I know it's a book.....and we're supposed to imagine that people don't fart in bed and have less than stellar ass-cleaning routines. I get that. After all, romances are fairy tales and everything is supposed to be unicorns, rainbows, and rose-scented assholes. But I can't stop myself from going there. I can't stop imagining all of the disgusting scenarios involving hairy male assholes and the women who want to lick them.

Now, let's talk about the guys who wanna do it in the women's butts, cause I have concerns there as well. First of all, every man in a romance novel is hung like a water buffalo. And it seems like every woman is an anal-virgin. Reality math tells us that huge penis + virgin lady asshole = excruciating pain. But romance novel math tells us that huge penis + virgin lady asshole ÷ some lube = pleasure beyond compare. I do not buy this math. At all. Ask any gay man....and believe me, they know their buttsecks.....but it just doesn't work like that. And it doesn't always go well on the first try. Even with a gallon bucket full of lube. But according to hetero romance and erotica novels....there's a little pinching and then a ton of pleasure. In my head, after I read a scene like this......I'm thinking that this poor woman isn't gonna be able to shit right for a week. (I know, I'm disgusting, but you're the pervert reading my blog about buttsecks, so what does that say about YOU? *wink. just kidding.*)

Another of my pet peeves about buttsecks is that it often happens because the hero and heroine find themselves in a situation where condoms aren't available. And I'm guessing if there aren't any condoms, there isn't any lube either. See my "reality/romance math equations" above. Ouch. And I don't care what the books say - spit isn't considered a lube. There's another whole blog post that I could write about safe sex in romance novels....or lack there of. But I'm not gonna go there in this post. But condomless buttsecks just seems like a bad idea, no matter what the situation. And my mind always goes to the dark place (pun intended).

So, to sum it up - I'm not against buttsecks in my hetero romance. Far from it, actually. At times, it can be super hot. That is, when my mind isn't thinking about cleanliness issues or what a butthole might actually taste like. (Again, I'm disgusting, I know. But you've stuck around this long, pervert. So don't pretend you're all high and mighty and admit it....you've wondered too!)

Now finally - the part of this blog that made me want to write it in the first place.....euphemisms! This was originally inspired by my friend Jen's blog post called Romance Thesaurus. In this post, she covers some of her favorite phrases that, as she says, "have yanked me out of a hot and heavy moment and dropped me straight into giggle-town". For my list, I'm sticking with the ass theme. Here are some of my favorite euphemisms for the back door. Enjoy.....and feel free to add your favorite assphemisms in the comments section.

forbidden channel
dark passage
puckered hole
virgin entrance
clenching pucker of her rear entrance
clenching back hole
now hungry opening of her anus (ewwww)

(Aghhh! I know I have more! I will add them as they come to me. I should have been keeping better notes on the books I've read recently!)

Review: IOU Sex

IOU Sex by Calista Fox

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I don’t know about you, but I love a story where a bitch gets what’s coming to her. Combine that with some hot sex and a happy ending and you’ve got the makings of a great story. And that’s just what IOU Sex is.....a great story. (Though, I wish to God it had a different title. I *almost* didn’t read this book based on the title alone. I don’t know why....it just has that “cheezy” vibe to it. Granted, I can’t think of a title that I would prefer over this one, so there ya go.)

Anyway.

Like all of the books I read that are well done,,,,,I wanted more. I loved the concept of this book so much, but it SO deserved to be a full length novel. It felt more like the final act of a really good book versus a stand alone novella. That being said....I loved it to pieces.

Fiona comes from an affluent family. The kind where you do what you're told without question. Unfortunately (or fortunately), Fiona isn't the type to just obey orders. She marches to the beat of her own drummer, much to her overbearing mother's chagrin.

Fiona has just received an invitation to her baby sister’s engagement party. No big deal, really, except that the sister, Lizzie, is marrying Fiona’s FORMER fiance! How did he become her former fiance, you ask? Well.....Fiona caught them 69-ing it in HER bed right before the wedding. Classy, right? And even classier.....Fiona gets an invitation to the engagement party - on the SAME stationary that Fiona herself had picked out when she was the intended bride. (Gah. Uppity folks can be so tacky.) To show that she’s the bigger person and that’s she’s over it.....Fiona decides to go to said engagement party. In a racy red dress - with some super hot mancandy on her arm. That man is her best friend and occasional fuck-buddy, Michael Houston. Michael is a famous photographer, a hot piece of ass, and a super nice man. And.....well.....he’s also somewhat of a player. Because of this, Fiona has kept her heart away from him. Because, really, the last thing she needs is another broken heart and another failed relationship.

So, the day before the nightmare engagement party, Fiona calls up Michael and says she needs to ask him a favor. In his oh-so-sexy voice, he asks her to come over and ask her in person. She’s not stupid.....she knows what he wants. And even though it’s been almost a year since she’s been with him - and she’s horny as hell - she promises herself that she’s not going to sleep with him. (Yea, right!!)

Of course, they end up having some amazing sex....and in the midst of all that, we realize that Michael just might not be as much of a player as he used to be. It’s obvious from their interaction that Fiona is special to Michael. In fact, he wants a real relationship with her, but Fiona doesn’t want to go there. (OK, yea, she really does....but she’s scared. A broken heart is a hard thing to forget.) Of course, Michael agrees to go to the party on her arm....IF....she agrees to spend the rest of the weekend with him. (And like a fortune cookie....you should tack on “in bed” to that previous sentence.) Reluctantly, she agrees.

The party is everything you would have hoped it to be. Fiona gets exactly the reaction she was hoping for. She looked smokin’ hot, and she was with an equally smokin’ hot man that only had eyes for her. She got to tell off her fake-ass-fiance-stealing sister and she finally realized that she really was completely over the cheating-bastard-ex-fiance. Oh yea, the uppity mother who turned a blind eye to her younger daughter stealing the other daughter’s fiance.....yea....she got told off too.

AND, Fiona finally realized that Michael is a man worth going out on a limb for and risking it all for.

*Sigh* I love stories like this. I love seeing worthy people get what they deserve and asshole people getting told where they can shove it. But like I said in the beginning....this felt so much like the third act of a really good novel. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the story. But when I think of the potential backstory that could have been.....I feel a little let down. The conflict resolution was so sweet....but I couldn’t help but feel just how much sweeter it could have been if the book started....say.....right after Fiona caught the fiance and the sister going at it. And then how she met Michael, etc. I always hate to base my rating on what ISN’T there versus what IS.....but in this case, I can’t help it. I would totally give this 5 stars, but there was so much more I wanted.

*ARC provided by NetGalley

Review: Let's Get Naked

Let's Get Naked by Marianne LaCroix

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I can describe this entire book in 6 words: contains every cliche known to man.

Hot, older woman lusts after hot, younger neighbor. Woman has online fling with mystery man....they agree to meet. Mystery man is the hot neighbor. They proceed to have hot monkey sex. Really, that's the book in a nutshell.

The sex scenes were hot, but nothing special. Mostly, the book was just really predictable.

But hey.....it was free from Amazon. And, it was an ok way to spend 30 minutes of my time. I didn't hate it.....but I didn't love it either.

Review: Sugar and Spice (#1)

Sugar and Spice by Mari Carr

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Ginny is turning 30 and she just got dumped by her douchey boyfriend. In steps Travers, her best friend since childhood. He agrees to take her out for some birthday fun - at an exclusive sex club that she's been dying to go to. Once they arrive at the club, Ginny spots the douchey boyfriend all up in some blonde bimbo's fake tits. To comfort her, Travers says all the right things and then takes her back to his private room for some, um, fun.

I love a good best-friend-turned-lover story, but they only work when we get to see the friendship first. That's the element of this book that just made me giddy. I loved the friendship between all of the characters. Ginny is the lone girl in a group of three guys. They've all been BFFs since childhood, and now they all work together. Travers has always had the hots for Ginny, but he never admitted it to himself or anyone else. Too bad....everyone else sort of already knew. Well, except for Ginny. Ginny had always sort of had a thing for him too. (Damn it, these kids and their failure to communicate!) There are several great flashbacks to their childhoods that do a good job in establishing not only the deep friendship and love the four have for each other - it also shows that there was something all along between Ginny and Travers, if you read between the lines.

I absolutely love all of the characters that were introduced in this book, so it makes me quite happy to know that we'll be seeing this world continue to expand in the form of a series. (YEA!!)

Review: Happy Hour (#4)

Happy Hour by Mari Carr

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Jamie, Trey, and Grace are all teachers at the same high school. On Fridays, they like to get together at the local bar for happy hour. It's April....almost graduation....and they're all about to go crazy. If it wasn't for their Friday night get-togethers, they all probably would.

Grace is 40 and has been single for quite a while. Her husband died in a car accident, leaving her alone with their young daughter who is now about to graduate from high school. Grace has devoted her life to raising her daughter and now that she’s about to be faced with living alone for the first time in her life, she realizes how much she’s missed out on. With the encouragement of her BFF (and fellow teacher) Cheryl, Grace is determined to make this happy hour a different one. She’s going to cut loose and allow herself to be that person she’s always held back from being. And Jamie and Trey both pick up on her new attitude on life. Jamie, who is secretly (or really, not so secretly...according to his friends) is in love with Grace. And he has been for a while, but he’s never bothered to act on it. He’s about 8 years younger than Grace, is Grace’s daughter’s softball coach, oh, and he also suffered a devastating loss of love when his fiance walked out on him. Needless to say, these two crazy kids have a lot stacked against them.

So, what will it take to get Grace and Jamie together? A little good, old fashioned jealousy. Trey, fellow coach at the school and best friend of Jamie, tries out a little bump-and-grind dancing with Grace and Jamie doesn’t seem to like it one bit. Then Trey admits that he did it only to put a boot to Jamie’s ass to get him to ask her out. What Trey didn’t count on was that he would genuinely get the hots for Grace. Although Jamie isn’t too keen on sharing a woman, Trey assures him that it would only be for one night. He basically just wants to tap that and move on. Trey knows that Jamie and Grace are meant for each other, but he thinks she needs to sow some wild oats before she settles down with Jamie. (Mind you - Jamie has yet to ask Grace out....so he’s making a lot of assumptions. But apparently anyone with eyes in their head can see the chemistry and affection between Jamie and Grace.)

While Jamie is initially hesitant to proposition Grace with their menage scheme, he soon realizes that his raging hard-on for the hot English teacher trumps any fears he might have about her saying no. And of course, Grace doesn’t say no.

The trio leaves the bar and heads to Jamie’s house for some, you guessed it, smoking hot-for-teacher sex. The thing I love most about Mari Carr’s books is her ability to write consistently hot sex scenes. Even if I don’t care for the characters, the sex is always super hot. Luckily for me.....I did love the characters in the book. So much. While Grace and Trey are obviously hot for each other, it’s also obvious that Grace and Jamie are meant to be together.

Menage stories are sometimes hit or miss for me. I loved this one because it didn’t aspire to be a “let’s live this threesome alternative lifestyle” type of story. No. It was just three people, having smoking hot three-way sex and then going about their normal lives. No trying to buck society’s norms. No, it was just some one night only naughty sexytimes. And it worked. So well. Jamie seemed just like the kind of guy you’d want to take home to meet your parents. You know, as long as no one brings up the threesome with his best friend over the get-to-know-you dinner.

Review: Tequila Truth (#2)

Tequila Truth by Mari Carr

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Kylie, Colt, and Heath have been best friends and roommates since college. It's their tradition to play "Tequila Truth" during every birthday celebration. What is tequila truth? They each take a shot and honestly answer a question that is asked of the group. Usually the questions are highly sexual. So....at their most recent birthday celebration, the question was about what their ultimate sexual fantasy was. Kylie's answer....to be with two men, with bondage and spanking thrown in for extra fun. Fast forward to a shot time later. Neither Colt or Heath can forget about Kylie's answer, even though they are all "just friends". It's not until Heath walks in on Kylie and her boyfriend and a BDSM session that turned into an actual beating that things change. Heath and Colt think that THEY should be the ones to fulfill Kylie's ultimate fantasy, rather than her getting careless with guys that don't have her safety and well-being in mind. So, they purpose a weekend of sexual fantasy fulfillment for Kylie. When the weekend's over, they go back to the way things were - friends and roommates. But after the sex play begins, all three realize that they all might have been more than "just friends" all along.

So much of this book worked for me.....but so much of it didn’t. I didn’t like Colt’s constant use of the word “darlin’”. Yea, I know he’s a Southern gentleman and all of that. I get it....I’m Southern, and I know people like that. And it gets on my nerves in real life as much as it did in this book. And while I bought them all as friends, I didn’t buy them as much as a sexual trio. No doubt, the sex was super hot....but I never saw that transition from hot sex to love between the three of them. I think it was probably there all along, so there wasn’t a place for a transition from just friends having hot sex to true love....but I wanted to see it. I needed it in order for me to be able to buy them as a lifetime committed trio.

And there were just a few lines that made me groan. Granted, they were said in jest....but they took me completely out of the moment. They happened in the same scene, almost in the same paragraph. “Darlin’, are you ready to take a little ride on the roommate roller coaster?” and “Buckle up and keep your cocks inside my body at all times, boys.” Oh good God, no. I repeat....the characters were joking when they said these lines....but really? Really.

I’ve read many books that involve a menage fling winding up as a full lifetime commitment - and it’s worked. I just didn’t buy it in this book. Realistically, I don’t really get people having these relationships in real life, but when it comes to fiction, I can suspend my disbelief. I mean....it is fiction, after all. But I just wasn’t able to do it in this book. Don’t get me wrong, though....there is some entertainment to be found in this book. The sex is smoking hot, no doubt. I just didn’t grow to care about these characters like I have in some of Mari Carr’s other books.

Review: Erotic Research (#1)

Erotic Research by Mari Carr

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Julia and Ross have been coworkers and best friends for ten years. She is a best-selling romance novelist and he is her editor. But for those same ten years, Julia has been somewhat of a recluse - she hardly dates or goes out. Ever. And then her cat dies and she loses it.

To help her out of her funk, Ross suggests she try writing erotica and he gives her a ton of books and the keys to his mountain cabin so she can go do "research". But underneath his helpful exterior, Ross is plotting to seduce his best friend. He's been in love with her forever and he can't keep it from her any longer. BUT, he fears his somewhat kinky sexual tastes might scare the somewhat vanilla Julia.

While Julia is secluded in Ross's cabin during the winter, he drives up from the city for a surprise visit (and hopefully a seduction). Of course, they get snowed in together. And that's when things really begin to heat up. (bad pun, *rimshot*)

The sex is, whoa, incredibly hot. And about as un-vanilla as you can get! While it starts off as "research"....or at least that's what Julia thinks....it quickly turns into so much more. What these two crazy kids had was a failure to communicate! Both have always had the hots for the other one, but neither of them ever had the balls to admit it. But I swear, during the story....I just wanted to slap them both to make them confess their feelings to each other. They're bubbling just barely below the surface....it's the subtext of every word they say to each other.....and yet it goes unsaid for so long! It's so frustrating as a reader, but as frustrating as it is.....it's that much more satisfying when their feelings true finally do come out.

I can't think of a hotter fantasy than best friend turned love of your life. And if said best friend-turned-true love can also manage to give you the best sex of your life....well, that's all just icing on the cake, baby.

Review: Cracklin' Rosie (#2)

Cracklin' Rosie by Lissa Matthews

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

We first meet Rosie in the first book of this series, Sweet Caroline. She's the waitress/owner of the local diner, and she's a pistol. A pistol with a fetish for being spanked. But due to the small town she lives in and their everybody knows everything about everybody else mentality....it has remained her dirty little secret. Until she meets Decker.

Decker is a friend of Buck (from book 1) and after Buck moves to the mountains to be with Caroline, he calls Decker and asks if he wants to go into business together. Shortly after sort of moving to the mountain town, Decker meets Rosie when she hires him to replace her roof. And he's a goner. He wants Rosie and he has a feeling she wants him - but she is stubborn and doesn't want to admit that she feels the same for him. Eventually she admits it, and somewhere in the conversation Decker also realizes that Rosie has thing for being spanked. And wouldn't you know it....Decker likes to spank.

I loved Decker. He's super sweet, hot as hell, and he's covered in tattoos. What's not to love? Rosie, as I said, is a pistol. A pistol that I sometimes just wanted to smack. I was all "Girl, you have this hot man lusting after you!! Stop running away from him!!" But in her defense, she had a strong fear of being in a relationship that might get a little kinky and might not be the "norm". And more importantly she was terrified of the people in town finding out about her fetish. She's a little paranoid about her kinks anyway, so I can see where she could take any potential relationship and mentally fast forward it to the point where it goes horribly wrong and then suddenly the ex has loose lips and tells everyone in town that she's a kinky wench. Ok, so maybe she's more than a little paranoid. But I come from a small town, so I can certainly understand where she's coming from.

The sex is hot and takes place all over - in a truck, in the woods, on a porch, and yes....even in a boring old bed. But I can promise you that the sex is anything but boring. As with all of this author's books, the sex is smoking hot. (And there is plenty of spanking for those of you into that sort of thing. *wink*)

I love this series, and the world that's been built for it. And I can't stand the wait for book #3. I just know it involves Cort and Blue. (Cort being a friend of Decker and Buck's.....and Blue being Rosie's childhood best friend)

Review: Sweet Caroline (#1)

Sweet Caroline: Blue Jeans and Hard Hats, Book 1 by Lissa Matthews

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The hotness drips off the pages of this book like lava. Good Lord....

Caroline is a 40 year old, recently divorced woman who is looking to sell her house and move to the mountains. While wandering through the a home improvement store, she encounters Buck. Buck is a contractor who normally doesn't do the kind of work that Caroline needs done....but he feels an attraction to her - so hey, why not. Things stay completely platonic until he runs into her in a sex shop. Here, the slightly shy Caroline boldly shows Buck what kind of things she likes - from clamps to whips to glass dildos. And thus their relationship begins.

The hot monkey sex starts out hot and continues to get even hotter....if that's possible. If you're not a fan of BDSM, I would suggest you skip this book.....because it does go there. A lot. But don't get me wrong. While there is a TON of sex in this book - there is a good storyline as well. Caroline's ex-husband got her interested in the lifestyle, but after years and years, the relationship eventually morphed into something Caroline didn't want. Swinging was always something they did.....but when the ex-husband started getting it on without Caroline's knowledge....well, it just started going downhill from there. Finally, she asked him to move out. It was this move that prompted Caroline to take a road trip that landed her in the mountains of Georgia, in what would soon be her new home. As soon as the repairs on her old home were made, that is, and she was able to sell it. The one thing she didn't factor into her new life was Buck - and falling in love with him.

Start reading this book for the hot sex....but keep reading it for the great characters you'll be introduced to here and in the other books in the series. I love Lissa's writing style and she sure as hell can write a hot scene. No doubt.

Review: Better Than 8 Fantasy

Better Than 8 Fantasy by Erin Jamison

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Man, oh man. If there was ever a concept for a book series that I was totally down for - it's Better Than 8. What is Better Than 8 you ask? Well, as you'll find out in this book, it's a dating website for women who like their men....um....gifted? *snicker* At first, I thought this story was going to be about guys with huge dicks and the women who want them. And, yea....I guess it kind of is. But what I didn't count on was the great story and the characters that have laid the foundation for this series.

This story focuses on Amara, the only single one in her group of girlfriends. One night at a party, one of her friends jokingly suggest that she sign up for this new dating website called Better Than 8. And she does....mostly as a joke. But when she is contacted by Seva, she starts to think that maybe there's something to this site after all. The two strike up a steamy online flirtation that continues for months, but then suddenly ends shortly after Amara send Seva her phone number. He never calls and the online flirtation comes to a screeching halt. Figuring that he's found someone else or she's been played for a fool, Amara goes about her life.

When Amara gets called away to Puerto Rico on business, who do you think she meets in a business meeting? That's right....Seva. And he's even more beautiful in person than the photos he sent her. I can't even imagine how hard it was for Amara to sit through a long ass meeting with a raging case of lady-wood. Later on that night, Amara and Seva end up at his beach house where they finally have more than instant message sex.

It isn't until the next morning that Amara discovers that Seva has a roommate. A hot male roommate name Naldo. And you can probably guess when I'm going with this, right? And in case you're wondering....yes....it was totally hot. I mean, what's hotter than one buff Latin man making your every sexual fantasy come true? The answer is TWO buff Latin men making your every sexual fantasy come true.

The sex in the book is super hot. But you know what I didn't realize? I didn't realize until I was going back over parts of the book for this review that there isn't really a ton of sex in the book. Remember, Amara doesn't actually meet Seva until much later. And after they meet, yea, there's a lot of sex. But before, it was just hot sexy emails and photos. Obviously it had to be very hot and sexy if I didn't notice that it wasn't actual vag-n-dick sexytimes. So, bonus points to the author for that!

As I said before, I love the concept of this series and the characters that are introduced. Amara's pack of girlfriends are going to be fun to watch....assuming they make it into the rest of the books. (I hope so!) And even if they don't, I'm quite excited to read more about the women (or men) who are turning to the Better Than 8 website to find love! (Good Lord, if only such a site existed. If only.....)

Review: Collide

Collide by Megan Hart

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It has taken me several days to think about what I wanted to say in this review. I loved this book so much - and it was completely different from anything that I’ve read in quite a while. Maybe ever. Even a week later, this book is still with me. I’m still thinking about it every day and I want to read it again and again. Really, I didn’t want the book to ever end.

The story focuses on Emm. She was in an accident as a child that left her with a brain injury. The only lasting after effects are the blackouts she occasionally suffers from. They’re called fugues.

Having recently moved out on her own in a new city, she quickly becomes a local at The Mocha, the neighborhood coffee shop. She meets here best friend, Jen, here almost every day for coffee and gossip. It is here that Emm also encounters Johnny Dellasandro. Apparently he’s famous (or infamous).....and Jen is a huge fan. Emm learns that he is an artist and a former actor in 70’s art films. Kind of like Andy Warhol....but with less pop culture notoriety. Johnny lives in the neighborhood and frequents The Mocha, though he hardly speaks to anyone. Ever. But Emm is intrigued and Jen is more than happy to show her all of his movies.

Soon, Emm becomes immersed in all things Johnny. And her fugues - which hadn’t been happening in past years - have started up again. The only difference now is that when she goes dark, she’s going back in time during Johnny’s heyday of the 70‘s. She sees his friends and his house and details that she doesn’t think she should know. At first, she blows it off as just her remembering random details from internet searches she did on Johnny. But the fugues become more frequent and every time she is with then-Johnny and they have the relationship that she wants with now-Johnny. But he continues to ignore her in the coffee shop. Their relationship never goes past that until Emm slips into a fugue state at his front door. He brings her into his house and helps her once she comes out of the fugue.....and this finally opens a door to a more personal relationship for the two of them.

I want to describe every detail of this book because I loved it so much. But I don’t want to say anything else about it because I want everyone else to have the OMG moments I had while reading it. The surprise, the joy, and the sadness - everything. Oh, and in case you’re wondering....yes, there is plenty of hot monkey sex going on in this book. PLENTY. But this is so much more than an erotic novel. It is a beautiful story of true love, and while it does make you suspend some disbelief here and there, it always comes across as completely believable....even if you know that it isn’t.

I can’t stress enough the amount of love I have for this book. Please do yourself a favor and read it. Like....right now.

*ARC provided by NetGalley